Conservative scholars estimate that the Book of Acts was written in the year AD 63 by the practicing physician Luke, who was a traveling companion of the Apostle Paul during his church planting missionary journeys throughout the Roman world. As we speak today about Jesus and a healing church, it will be interesting to begin with a doctor's perspective on healing.
One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”
Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. (Acts 3:1-10 NIV)
What we can tell from this is:
1) God works naturally, as in the healing that comes through the skill He provided to the physician Luke; however, He also works supernaturally through the same power that was demonstrated in Jesus' earthly ministry.
2) Many times the thing that we want is not our biggest need. What is it that is on your heart of hearts that you desire most? What, if you were to look to God and His Word, do you think that He actually knows that you need?
God is kind and will give you wants (Psalm 37:4). However, because He is a good Father, He's going to get down to addressing what you actually need.
3) When someone reaches out, you need to reciprocate - like Peter with the cripple. It is the Christlike thing to do. You may not have other things to give, but you can give Christ-centered friendship!
Jesus heals people physically today, but He also empowers them to live relationally healthy lives. When your body is physically whole, you can forget that the thing that God wants to actually put His finger on is relational dysfunction or stunted growth. How have you been crippled in your relationship with Jesus or others? How does God want to heal you? How should you be strengthened?
This is not exhaustive, but it does highlight some of the specific challenges that we have in the city to developing and maintaining godly relationships. Make no doubt about it, Satan's plan is to separate close friends, destroy unity, and nullify the healing power of the church through offense.
Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed, saying, “Let us break their chains and throw off their shackles.” (Psalm 2:1-3 NIV)
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. (Psalm 133:1-3 NIV)
How to be a good friend
Friendship that provides real healing in the church is a two-way street. There is both giving and receiving, attitudes to maintain, and obstacles to overcome. Remember that love believes the best about others and looks to give them the benefit of the doubt with their intentions, especially amongst others attempting to follow Jesus in the church. God gives us His word to provide wisdom in friendships so that we might learn the habits of healthy relationships and escape the trappings of poor relational skills.
Giving
Do not be prideful about those with whom you associate.
The city is full of a cross-section of people of different life stages and achievements. If you think yourself too mature, accomplished, or that others can't relate to you because you regularly work in a different sphere than those who surround you in the community of faith, you will end up in isolation. Jesus' church in the city is comprised of people from various professions, pedigrees, and levels of expertise, all coming together for the purposes of God. Remember, if the donkey can speak the word of the Lord to Balaam, then someone with a few less letters behind their name can speak the Word of God to you and benefit your life. Do not be prejudiced against those that you think have more than you, and do not distance yourself from those who you think have less to offer. Think of the motley crew that made up Jesus' original band of 12 apostles (Mark 3:13-19):
1) Matthew - the hated tax collector who would have worked for the IRS.
2-5) Peter, Andrew, James and John, sons of Zebedee - uneducated fishermen who would be Jesus' inner circle leading the early church. They weren't so full of themselves, so they had more room for Jesus to rule and lead (just a thought).
6) Simon - the zealot, revolutionary and modern-day activist.
7-11) Philip, Thomas, Barnabas, James (son of Alphaeus) and Thaddeus - those who had unnamed jobs that may have been simply working to provide a paycheck.
12) Judas Iscariot - found himself the company treasurer who ended up in embezzlement and the betrayer of Jesus.
When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God. (Leviticus 19:33, 34 NIV)
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12:15, 16 NIV)
Initiate until they reciprocate.
We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19 NIV)
“It is not that we keep His commandments first and that then He loves but that He loves us and then we keep His commandments. This is that grace which is revealed to the humble but hidden from the proud.” ― Saint Augustine of Hippo
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Be gracious as you patiently await the reciprocation. "No relationship can survive bad manners."
Look to bless/give gifts.
Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of one who gives gifts. (Proverbs 19:6 NIV)
Be neither overbearing nor a leech.
If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit. Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house— too much of you, and they will hate you. (Proverbs 25:16, 17 NIV)
Be reliable; be present.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24 NIV)
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. (Proverbs 17:17 NIV)
Set up regular times for connection.
It was "at the time of prayer" (Acts 3:1) that Peter and John were able to relate to the cripple.
The thought of spontaneity can be a destructive idol if it keeps you from the value of the structured building of relationships with Jesus and others. This is true in marriage, parenting, and is no less valid in the relationships that God is developing.
Help take people to Jesus (this is what Peter did in Acts 3 and the friends did with their paralytic friend in Matthew 9).
The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. (Exodus 3:7, 8 NIV)
Be a good listener.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (James 1:19-21 NIV)
Do your best to make sure that people understand your heart intentions.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV)
Receiving
Learn to go to Jesus first.
In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians. (2 Chronicles 16:12 NIV)
Don't take everything as a rejection when your efforts seem unreciprocated.
This is also the way that we need to approach others in our relationship with them. A spirit of rejection is subconsciously repulsive to people and, unfortunately, invites further rejection.
God responds to faith, a quiet confidence in His benevolence and ability. People are similar in the fact that they don't respond positively to someone who is double-minded or needs to spend all of their time being reaffirmed in the other person's acceptance of them. Rather healthy individuals spend their time embracing, celebrating, and contributing to their relationships.
The attacks on same sex friendships can be palpable at times, but we must persist and endure to experience the full blessing that God has for us (David and Jonathan).
Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment. (Matthew 15:21-28 NIV)
Literally, our attitudes need to be like Jim Carrey's character from Dumb and Dumber. (Pastor Rollan showed a clip of the "So you're telling me there's a chance" video, starting at time signature 0:25 - http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gqdNe8u-Jsg).
It's not you, it's me.
Realize that people have limits to their time, energy, and emotional stamina. Be ok with planning something out for a later time if someone is not immediately available, and, in the meantime, continue building relationships with others that will act as multiple anchors with whom you can relate.
Don't expect people to read your mind: communicate.
“Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt. “Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless. “If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not treat it like a business deal; charge no interest. If you take your neighbor’s cloak as a pledge, return it by sunset, because that cloak is the only covering your neighbor has. What else can they sleep in? When they cry out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate. (Exodus 22:21-27 NIV)
Avoid offense; pray through it.
You cannot expect relationships to be perfect, without bumps in the road, misunderstandings, or challenges. We are not clones of one another, but different, and, in building trust, need to allow room for mistakes and growth.
Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. (Proverbs 12:16 NIV)
When people get offended, they rehearse the initial scenario over and over again in a vacuum until we no longer think rationally about a situation. We are merely driven by the compounded hurt that has grown in the speculations and assumptions of our own mind. It is easy to find people in this place who will cheer and exacerbate these feelings, as they are susceptible to the same patterns. We are no longer open to conversation, merely the intensity of our emotions which isolate us and, many times, seem driven by an unnatural force. We become bitter and find all means of nonsensical accusation against those who, like Christ, were only trying to love us.
“By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Forgive quickly.
If your first response is to vent about someone that you have had a rub with, then you are going to fall into gossip and slander. You can be sure that the person you are venting to is now going to have a hard time seeing the situation clearly and dealing with the person who offended you objectively. Call it what it is, your sharing is sin and can ruin any potential relationship that you or anyone else would have with the person or group about which you are speaking. This is true in your marriage, family, friendships, church, and workplace. Be careful with your words and contain the virus. Intercede in prayer for those who offend you, and God will give you His perspective as you do so.
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9 NIV)
One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the king for a friend. (Proverbs 22:11 NIV)
If you are in a romantic relationship, do not expect to get the totality of your healing from your spouse or significant other. You need other relationships, even of the same gender.
God gave us not only the ability to be healed in our physical bodies by the power of Jesus Christ, but to be healed from the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships. He provides family through the church that is meant to be interdependent rather than co-dependent.
From what do you need healing today? Cleansing streams is coming.
Second City Church- Chicago Fire: The Spirit-Led Church in the City Sermon Series 2014
