2 Samuel 13:23-29
After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king's sons. And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.” But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.

2 Samuel 13:34-39
But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king's sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king's sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead.

2 Samuel 14:1-17
Now Joab the son of Zeruiah knew that the king's heart went out to Absalom. And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman and said to her, “Pretend to be a mourner and put on mourning garments. Do not anoint yourself with oil, but behave like a woman who has been mourning many days for the dead. Go to the king and speak thus to him.” So Joab put the words in her mouth. When the woman of Tekoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said, “Save me, O king.” And the king said to her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “Alas, I am a widow; my husband is dead. And your servant had two sons, and they quarreled with one another in the field. There was no one to separate them, and one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole clan has risen against your servant, and they say, ‘Give up the man who struck his brother, that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed.’ And so they would destroy the heir also. Thus they would quench my coal that is left and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the face of the earth.” Then the king said to the woman, “Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.” And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, “On me be the guilt, my lord the king, and on my father's house; let the king and his throne be guiltless.” The king said, “If anyone says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall never touch you again.” Then she said, “Please let the king invoke the Lord your God, that the avenger of blood kill no more, and my son be not destroyed.” He said, “As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.” Then the woman said, “Please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” He said, “Speak.” And the woman said, “Why then have you planned such a thing against the people of God? For in giving this decision the king convicts himself, inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again. We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast. Now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid, and your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his servant. For the king will hear and deliver his servant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the heritage of God.’ And your servant thought, ‘The word of my lord the king will set me at rest,’ for my lord the king is like the angel of God to discern good and evil. The Lord your God be with you!”

To the Fathers

David needed to deal with the sin of Amnon against Tamar appropriately. In failing to do so, he lost Absalom as well.

Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” this is the first commandment with a promise, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

To Those Heeding Fatherly Advice

One of the greatest gifts that a father can give his children is God's wisdom of properly handling His concept of delayed gratification.

The delayed gratification theme - we see its necessity when dealing with things such as:
Not getting trapped by credit cards.
A weight lifting regimen.

There are two sides of the coin when handling God's principle of delayed gratification:

1) Ammon - As sons of the king, there may not have been much they were denied in the way of material wealth, opportunities and pleasures. You can imagine delayed gratification being a challenge in such an environment. There are parallels in our lives today.

What is immediately at your disposal that can be a hindrance rather than a help to you?

Wait on God the avenger when you've been wronged.
Romans 13

2) Absalom used the idea of delayed gratification for his revenge.
It was a misplaced appropriation of delayed gratification.

Our lack of zeal for the Lord can turn into delayed obedience. You need to do what God commands you to do when you have the opportunity to do it. Don't put it off.

Proverbs 3:27-28
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it”—when you have it with you.

Seek the kingdom of God first means seek it first. It does not mean after your studies, job, family, hobbies or pleasure pursuits. It means first. It means first with your time, your talent and your resources. It means first in your affections, thought life, emotional life, and strength. This is what it means to love Jesus and serve Him as King. This is what a godly father or father figure in the faith needs to impart to his children.

You don't put Jesus aside for years of study or work and hope to find that the burning heart of your devotion will have grown or even remained the same in that time. You cannot serve two masters. You can substitute the idea of money for your career amongst the millennial who often think it too plebeian or base a thing to say that their end goal is merely material wealth.

No decision that you make in your life is benign or inconsequential. You are either gathering with Jesus or scattering.

Christ-centered love doesn't mean catering to people's pleasures, being a vehicle or outlet solely for their frivolity. It means helping them look to and build a life that is fruitful in Jesus.

Matthew 12:30
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

To lead in Christ's church, you need to live this way.

Live for your heavenly rewards, not just your earthly ones.

It can be done well - look at Greg, Oluchi, Lyndsey and the Fiedler's. Look at the many in our professional ranks and follow their example as they follow Christ.

Delayed gratification applies to:

Marriage
Building the relationship
Fidelity

Child-rearing

Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Business ethics and strategies

Built to Last by Jim Collins

Discipleship and Making Disciples

Joshua 5
II Corinthians 7

Sacrifice and Savings to live Debt Free

Deuteronomy 28, 29

Proverbs 13:22
A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the sinner's wealth is laid up for the righteous.
(part of their inheritance is teaching them to be givers that they might be blessed)

Proverbs 21:17, 20
Whoever loves pleasure will be a poor man; he who loves wine and oil will not be rich.

Precious treasure and oil are in a wise man's dwelling, but a foolish man devours it.

God preparing you for your calling

Isaiah 49:1-7
Listen to me, O coastlands, and give attention, you peoples from afar. The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name. He made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me a polished arrow; in his quiver he hid me away. And he said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be glorified.” But I said, “I have labored in vain; I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity; yet surely my right is with the Lord, and my recompense with my God.” And now the Lord says, he who formed me from the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him; and that Israel might be gathered to him— for I am honored in the eyes of the Lord, and my God has become my strength— he says: “It is too light a thing that you should be my servant to raise up the tribes of Jacob and to bring back the preserved of Israel; I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth.” Thus says the Lord, the Redeemer of Israel and his Holy One, to one deeply despised, abhorred by the nation, the servant of rulers: “Kings shall see and arise; princes, and they shall prostrate themselves; because of the Lord, who is faithful, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you.”

To the Heavenly Father

God continually makes ways for us to be reconciled to Him through the cross of Christ.

II Samuel 14:14
We must all die; we are like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast.

The delayed gratification of faith in Christ ultimately leads us to the kingdom of God.

1 Peter 1:8-9
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Second City Church: Why Not Sin? Sermon Series 2017

As you travel for work and vacation this summer, don't vacation from Christ.

2 Samuel 13:1-22
Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David's son, loved her. And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.” Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went. And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house. When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.

Apprehend Your Thought Life

If you don't discipline your secret thought life, you will eventually find a way to fulfill the sin you've been imagining.

Romans 8:5-11
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

The time will eventually come when some sort of temptation seizes you becoming tormenting to you if you don't control your thought life.

I Peter 4

How do I apprehend my thoughts?
What you watch, listen to, etc., matters. You are feeding your spirit man/woman with the ingredients that will lead to life or death.

Clean eating is all the rage for healthy living today. It's what we need to apply to our walk with God.

Avoid the Counsel of Jonabad

Be careful of your inputs.

Amnon listened to Jonabad because he was deceived. Sin always comes from a place of deception. Eve in the garden sinned when she was deceived by Satan.

Jonabad gave counsel that satisfied the desires of the flesh, not the Spirit of God. You need to surround yourself with people who increase your love for and devotion to Jesus.

Who are those people in your life and how do you regularly connect to make sure that you are perpetually standing strong?

Wherever you travel for work, pleasure or life, find a good Jesus loving, Bible preaching church and make it a priority to gather with the believers for mutual worship, edification and a reminder of focus on the kingdom of God.

Needing rejuvenation after your vacation

There was no work, travel or vacation clause from God's command to honor the Sabbath.

People come back weaker or condemned from such things because they forget about the one who brought them to the dance, living segmented and fragmented lives - being detached from the WAYS of God through which He builds His people and kingdom.

Stay connected to godly inputs as you travel.

Our aim should be to be holy - set apart in all of our deeds and purposes.

1 Peter 1:14-16
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Holiness
It matters not just what you believe but how you think and how you interact with the people/world around you.

This is how you cultivate and demonstrate your love for God.

A Saturday afternoon community group for consultants would be a good way to serve a population that travels during the week.

Playing scenarios out to the fullest extent, you will begin to despise the thing that tempted you.

Sin always disappoints.

"Sin always takes you further than you want to go, makes you stay longer than you want to stay and makes you pay a price higher than you want to pay."
- Ron Lewis

Say "I Ain't Too Proud To Beg"

Ask the King. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Secondly, talk to your spouse and or godly counsel to find righteous fulfillment of your desires.

Repent and meet Jesus the King at the cross to redeem mistakes that have been made and hurt that has been experienced because of sin. He can forgive, restore and heal as He took our sin on the cross, died for our punishment and was resurrected to write us a new story as we enter into eternal life with Him.