The Break-Up: New Family Dynamics
Focus: In every family line, there are patterns that Jesus comes to break to the glory of God.
Where you started is not where you will end, nor is today meant to be your destiny - let Christ break the chains.
What Needs to Change?
How is it Going to Change?
Faith for change?
What Needs to Change?
Before we can see the glory of God in our families, we need to identify what needs to change.
This is a story that begins with David, is sidetracked by Solomon, his son, continues to go astray under David’s grandson Abijah and is finally turned with Asa, David’s great-grandson.
So let it not be missed that this is a family that had exposure to God and should have known the Lord.
The point is that no matter where we begin, we all need the salvation that can only come through Jesus.
So we know about the curse of control in the northern kingdom of Samaria under Jeroboam.
What was happening in the southern kingdom of Judah under Rehoboam?
1 Kings 14:21-31 ESV
“Now Rehoboam the son of Solomon reigned in Judah. Rehoboam was forty-one years old when he began to reign, and he reigned seventeen years in Jerusalem, the city that the Lord had chosen out of all the tribes of Israel, to put his name there. His mother’s name was Naamah the Ammonite. And Judah did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, and they provoked him to jealousy with their sins that they committed, more than all that their fathers had done. For they also built for themselves high places and pillars and Asherim on every high hill and under every green tree, and there were also male cult prostitutes in the land. They did according to all the abominations of the nations that the Lord drove out before the people of Israel. In the fifth year of King Rehoboam, Shishak king of Egypt came up against Jerusalem. He took away the treasures of the house of the Lord and the treasures of the king’s house. He took away everything. He also took away all the shields of gold that Solomon had made, and King Rehoboam made in their place shields of bronze, and committed them to the hands of the officers of the guard, who kept the door of the king’s house. And as often as the king went into the house of the Lord, the guard carried them and brought them back to the guardroom. Now the rest of the acts of Rehoboam and all that he did, are they not written in the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of Judah? And there was war between Rehoboam and Jeroboam continually. And Rehoboam slept with his fathers and was buried with his fathers in the city of David. His mother’s name was Naamah the Ammonite. And Abijam his son reigned in his place.”
Now we begin to see the generational effects of Solomon’s sin.
*Just because you can quote the Scripture doesn’t mean you’re living in the reality or benefit of it - you need to obey it by faith.
Solomon wrote proverbs but didn’t obey the words God inspired him to write.
Among his many wives was a woman named Naamah the Ammonite.
Remember that as Solomon’s heart clung to these foreign women, his heart drifted from Yahweh and was turned to the worship of false gods introduced by his wives.
1 Kings 11:1-4 ESV
“Now King Solomon loved many foreign women, along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You shall not enter into marriage with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods.” Solomon clung to these in love. He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.”
Ammonite worship involved high places, burnt offerings, and sometimes child sacrifices, which were strongly condemned by Yahweh.
According to 1 Kings 11:5, 33 and archaeological finds, Milcom was the chief deity of Ammon.
Milcom is an epithet likely related to the Canaanite supreme god El or meant "great king".
Several scholars believe Milcom and Molech are either the same deity or that Molech was a title for the sacrificial aspect of their worship, which is strongly associated with child sacrifice by fire.
Scripture records that King Solomon was influenced by his Ammonite wives to build high places for Milcom in Jerusalem, leading to severe judgement by Yahweh.
1 Kings 15:1-8 ESV
“Now in the eighteenth year of King Jeroboam the son of Nebat, Abijam began to reign over Judah. He reigned for three years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Maacah the daughter of Abishalom. And he walked in all the sins that his father did before him, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father. Nevertheless, for David’s sake the Lord his God gave him a lamp in Jerusalem, setting up his son after him, and establishing Jerusalem, because David did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and did not turn aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. Now there was war between Rehoboam and Jeroboam all the days of his life. The rest of the acts of Abijam and all that he did, are they not written in the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of Judah? And there was war between Abijam and Jeroboam. And Abijam slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city of David. And Asa his son reigned in his place.”
Abijah would follow in the sins of his father Rehoboam.
Some sins of the family are obvious and accepted, therefore don’t even register as candidates for change.
The sins of Solomon were passed down to his son Rehoboam who continued the family patterns of sin without realizing things needed to change.
Solomon had been judged, Rehoboam had had ten of the tribes removed from him, but they still continued in their error.
How often is it the case that we don’t have the discernment to identify the sins that God has resisted in our lineage, considering them normal because to us, they are simply a part of what defines our family?
We feel the effects of the sin and judgement, but don’t know what to do.
These are destructive patterns and cycles that Jesus comes to break.
*What are those patterns and cycles in your family that are not congruent with the word of God?
Is it how you communicate with one another?
Is there a critical, cynical or sarcastic pattern that squeezes out the fruit of kindness?
Has there been a pattern of infidelity or violence?
Is there a self-absorption that crushes considering others' needs above your own?
Have money, status and success been your family’s God?
What about keeping up appearances at all costs?
Is there a comparison to others that has you living under a weight of judgment that is not the Lord?
In the midst of the erecting of false gods, at the same time, we see the enemy’s plan to bring division amongst the people of God.
Remember, the nation of Israel was one big family.
However, when the family wasn’t right with Yahweh, choosing not to follow his commandments and choosing to worship other gods, the Israelites turned on one another and were at war with each other rather than their enemies.
*When we are not fighting our true enemy the devil and like Christ, looking to destroy the devil’s works, the people of God instead turn on one another.
Writing from prison, chained in persecution of the gospel, the apostle Paul would exhort the church in Philippi this way:
Philippians 1:27-28 ESV
“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God.”
We don’t have time to fight when we are doing the Lord’s work together.
This is true in our church family as well.
How is it Going to Change?
We need to see through the eyes of the Lord if we are going to see a change.
1 Kings 15:9-15 ESV
“In the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of Israel, Asa began to reign over Judah, and he reigned forty-one years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Maacah the daughter of Abishalom. And Asa did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as David his father had done. He put away the male cult prostitutes out of the land and removed all the idols that his fathers had made. He also removed Maacah his mother from being queen mother because she had made an abominable image for Asherah. And Asa cut down her image and burned it at the brook Kidron. But the high places were not taken away. Nevertheless, the heart of Asa was wholly true to the Lord all his days. And he brought into the house of the Lord the sacred gifts of his father and his own sacred gifts, silver, and gold, and vessels.”
The change we need comes when we see through the eyes of the Lord, not our own, and get a heavenly vision for our lives.
Asa did what was right by looking to do what was pleasing not to his family, but in the eyes of the Lord.
He couldn’t just do what his family had always done and be right with God.
Asa had to make changes.
These changes more than likely cost him a momentary sense of identity, belonging and security - but he would ultimately find these in Yahweh.
King Asa would lead his family and people to do the same.
There was love in the family, or at least respect - enough to keep grandma Maacah around.
However, her influence had to go because she was causing the family, and as a result, the people of Israel to sin by introducing the Asherah idol to the people of Israel.
King Asa started the change by removing the male cult prostitutes and idols that his grandfather Rehoboam had allowed to enter the land.
Removing Maacah from her place of influence was next.
“We forget that God’s primary goal is not changing our situations or relationships so that we can be happy, but changing us through our situations and relationships so that we can be holy.”
-Paul David Tripp
And may I suggest to you that this is where we find the true grace of God, and unlock a supernatural joy that can not be taken because it is both authored and preserved by the Holy Spirit?
Faith for Change
Jesus, the miracle working God, tells us to repent and believe the good news that through his power alone, our families have the ability to change and be saved.
Mark 1:14-15 ESV
“Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.””
Mark 1:14-15 NIV
“After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God. “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!””
We can have faith for ourselves and for our families.
Our families should be some of the first people for whom we pray and make efforts to introduce the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Many of our own people have taken the time to do the One to One and Purple Book with family members, seeing them come to Christ and be baptized!
Going back to Philippi, we see the conversion of the hardened jailer who would be saved by Jesus and open the door for salvation to his entire household:
Acts 16:29-33 ESV
“And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family.”
Because of Jesus’ sinless life and substitutionary death on the cross for humanity’s sins, we all have an opportunity to see family curses broken and the hope for new patterns of worship unto Christ.
Through Jesus, we have the hope of true forgiveness and eternal life.
1 Peter 1:13-21 ESV
“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.”
Remember that the apostle Peter was writing this as an Israelite himself, who had empty ways of life handed down to him from those who should have known better.
Let’s respond to that which God wants to change and come into the fullness of the freedom and transformation that Jesus wants to bring to our family lines through repentances and faith.