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The Big Ten: Better Response. Better Relationships. God’s Commands.
Pastor Rollan Fisher
Focus: You will have better relationships when you obey the commands of God.
It Starts in the Home
It Affects Every Relationship
The Commands of a Perfect Father
It Starts in the Home
We will better understand God’s gospel of grace when we learn to honor our parents.
Commandment #5:
Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
This commandment is the bridge between loving God and loving people.
The relationship that we have with our parents is meant to be the first and most shaping relationship that we have in our early development.
Amongst other things, parents are to be our first:
Caregivers
Instructors
Source of Definition and Stability
Authority
*This is important because what we learn from our parents, whether consciously or subconsciously, affects how we perceive God.
Parents were given by God to be the first earthly reflection of our Heavenly Father.
The reality is, no matter how godly our parents are, they will be imperfect.
God knew this when he gave the command and expects us to honor them anyway.
Honoring someone does not mean agreeing with everything that someone does.
Honor means that you accept the object of honor within the same human frailties that you have and treat them with the same grace that you have received from the Lord.
When you are a child, obedience is expected.
Earthly parents set a foundation of relationship with God.
It is the authority that we can see to be a practice for obedience to the authority of God that we can not see.
1 John 4:19-20
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.
When you are an adult, honor means valuing and speaking well of your parents even as you obey your Heavenly Father in what you think, say and do.
Because of the damage done by sin, our relationship with our parents and perspectives of God can both be distorted, in need of renewal.
The Word of God provides a way to a better response.
*It shows us that our parents may not be perfect, but this does not disqualify them from receiving your honor, just as our sin does not prevent us from receiving God’s agape love.
Why is it the first commandment with a promise?
It does not matter how old you are or how removed from an active relationship you find yourself.
*When we refuse to honor our parents because of their shortcomings, we are ultimately the ones who end up bound in our souls, destined to either repeat or overcompensate for their visible sins.
The honor that you show for your parents will directly affect your relationship with your Heavenly Father, and if you have children, the honor that they replicate towards you.
Practicing Honor:
Understand their shortcomings with a Biblical worldview, that your parents, just like the rest of humanity, are fallen creatures in need of a Savior because of sin
Pray for their salvation if they are still living and share the gospel of their own redemption when able
Identify any positive qualities that you can encourage and for which you can thank God
Love them with demonstrations of respect (in interaction), value and kindness. The cost may be great but your absorption of sin will allow you to better understand both the sufferings and love of Christ.
The same is true for relationships outside of the home.
It Affects Every Relationship
We will have better relationships with others when we learn to lay down the offenses that we carry against them.
Commandment #6
Exodus 20:13
“You shall not murder.“
Matthew 5:21-26
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
The truth is when we don’t forgive others, we are the ones who remain in bondage while the offenders are allowed to go about their lives, possibly never giving our condition a second thought.
When we hate or hold animosity towards people in our hearts, God counts it as murder.
The reason why is that the meditations of your heart are the precursors of all human activity.
Whatever we allow to grow in our hearts, whether for good or ill, whenever given the opportunity, we will find ways to fulfill.
This is equally true of altruism as it is of evil which we would undertake more readily if we thought there were the possibility of indulgence without consequence.
The Commands of a Perfect Father
We have the humility needed for better relationships when we embrace the forgiveness of a perfect Heavenly Father.
Matthew 5:43-48
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Really, it comes down to forgiveness and reconciliation.
Can we forgive those who have wronged us and can we choose to reconcile with those who’ve offended us?
Well, because of the cross of Jesus Christ, through the gospel of God’s grace, you can.
Some people find it hard to forgive themselves for their past or wrongs that they have done.
You will experience the forgiveness of the Lord when you offer others the pardon that Jesus has first offered you.
Remember, all of the commands of God reflect God taking us out of slavery into the freedom of new life in Him.
“Love difficult people. You’re one of them.”
-Bob Goff
And so am I 😆.
“Mercy and forgiveness must be free and unmerited to the wrongdoer. If the wrongdoer has to do something to merit it, then it isn't mercy, but forgiveness always comes at a cost to the one granting the forgiveness.”
-Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith
Second City Church - Pastor Rollan Fisher 2021